And below are some noteable quotes as recorded (accurately) by Squat on Me


- Do you want to see me squat?
- I don't drink.... alone
- Beer isn't real alcohol. It's just beer.
- I still smell hot dogs. Maybe Shanghai just smells like hot dogs. I want to move here.
- I'm going to get so drunk tonight... and tomorrow... and Sunday
- Yea the happy hookers are ok. It's the sad ones that bums me out.
- I can't sit on ice now; I'll pee!
- I can't believe I'm only going to have TWO meals today!
- Being shot in the head is not the worst thing that can happen to me in China.
- It you're offended... I don't give a shit.
- Oh, I'm sorry, do you think I was cool when I was you're age? Because I wasn't.
- I mean ONCE IN A WHILE i can let myself go
- Did I just pay extra for diarrhea?


- I'm TOO much of an adult.
- Story of my life: stuck between two farts.
- I'm only going to have one little drink of hard liquor, and then stick to soft alcohol.
- (First morning in Shanghai) Oh my God. I feel like shit.
- I look amazing
- I tried to push him in front of a car... and it didn't work.
- Sleeping, that shit happens once a day.


- Hurry up before he keeps buying beer.
- I can't walk fast because I just had a pedicure.
- There's food in the restaurant but these idiots are standing in a circle.

Bitch - my chinese is SO good.
Lise - then speak some
Bitch - oh, I don't want to boost


- Alright, NOW i'm drunk.

Other Hasher - We need strong able men to carry boxes of beer
Bitch - Obviously they're not talking about me

Jen - this one smells like shit, and this one just smells bad
Lise - No, I'm the one that smells like shit. I just farted.

Roger - I'm a bit disappointed. Second fart, and no one has said anything.
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